Now that all the back story is done, I get to actually talk about my issues. I can't imagine turning old without this man by my side. I've watched him grow from an 18 year old insecure teenager to a 30 year old proud father and husband. I'm so proud and thankful for every day I get to be his wife.
As I was sitting in the radiology waiting room, all I could think was "I just want to get a 50th birthday". At age 50 JD and I will have been together for 32 years, how's that for convenient. Our children, who are 8 and 10 now, will be well out of college and on their way to making their own lives, please Lord I hope. We would have some time together just us, we became parents at very young ages and that has shaped most of our relationship. It would be nice to get a few years to be together just the two of us.
Most importantly though, I want my kids to have their father. The father figure is so important and I think it's undervalued in today's society of single mothers. JD and I have split up in the past, irreconcilable differences as it were. Well we reconciled our differences and I believe it has made us stronger than ever in our relationship. While we were apart though, he became the dad I had always wished he would be. He took our sons out and taught them about things in nature and the importance of the life cycle. He told them he loved them and gave them hugs and just spent good quality dad time. Because he only got them a couple of days a week he finally realized the importance of that relationship. Our boys look up to him and strive to be as cool as him and I would hate to have that taken away from them as they go through puberty and become young men. Also I can't imagine wrangling those two on my own, they are a handful!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
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ReplyDeleteBy the time you are 50 though (I'm 53 and my husband is 59), you say "let us get to 80." I probably won't make it that long since I'm in advanced stages of diabetes with other complications, but every day I pray for more time. Separating from my husband via death is the saddest, most painful thing I think about, and sadly, I think about it pretty often. I hope you continue to want every precious day together...
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Kathryn. In that moment I needed a goal and 50 was it. I'm sure when we get to 50, I will ask for another 30 years. Don't we all want to spend just one more day with a person we loved that is gone.
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