JD and I were driving (me driving of course, four weeks is a long time) around yesterday picking up paper work and prescriptions, we drive by a church that has the wittiest billboards. Their board this week says "God has unlimited anytime minutes" to which JD says, "Yeah, but that bastard never has his phone on." We got into the discussion of God and Jesus. For the first time ever he said that he believed in a higher power. He tells me he understands God but that Jesus is a mystery, why should we worship some deranged guy from 2000 years ago anyway? My views of course differ. I think Jesus is more there for the symbolism, forgiveness is out there you just have to believe that you are worthy and ask for it. We don't worship Jesus we worship his creator and the thought of all He has done in our lives, every day we wake up and every day in the here after is because of Him.
I had a long chat last night with an old friend while waiting for exhaustion to hit. Somehow we got on the topic of religion and this conversation with JD came up. We discussed our thoughts on God and Jesus and the like. She had mentioned that she often felt like God had let her down, she has many health issues and has a hard time getting treatment where she is. My feelings are the exact opposite. I think God, or something like it, gives us challenges so that we have a reason to get up in the morning. Can you imagine a world where everything goes right for you? You get every promotion and your car always starts in the morning? You wake up and know that this day is going to be exactly like the day before. I think that would be really boring and frankly I can't imagine many people would survive that way. We all need motivation, we all need a reason for being. Where you find that is what makes you unique.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Just let us get to 50.
Now that all the back story is done, I get to actually talk about my issues. I can't imagine turning old without this man by my side. I've watched him grow from an 18 year old insecure teenager to a 30 year old proud father and husband. I'm so proud and thankful for every day I get to be his wife.
As I was sitting in the radiology waiting room, all I could think was "I just w
ant to get a 50th birthday". At age 50 JD and I will have been together for 32 years, how's that for convenient. Our children, who are 8 and 10 now, will be well out of college and on their way to making their own lives, please Lord I hope. We would have some time together just us, we became parents at very young ages and that has shaped most of our relationship. It would be nice to get a few years to be together just the two of us.
Most imp
ortantly though, I want my kids to have their father. The father figure is so important and I think it's undervalued in today's society of single mothers. JD and I have split up in the past, irreconcilable differences as it were. Well we reconciled our differences and I believe it has made us stronger than ever in our relationship. While we were apart though, he became the dad I had always wished he would be. He took our sons out and taught them about things in nature 
and the importance of the life cycle. He told them he loved them and gave them hugs and just spent good quality dad time. Because he only got them a couple of days a week he finally realized the importance of that relationship. Our boys look up to him and strive to be as cool as him 
and I would hate to have that taken away from them as they go through puberty and become young men. Also I can't imagine wrangling those two on my own, they are a handful!
As I was sitting in the radiology waiting room, all I could think was "I just w
ant to get a 50th birthday". At age 50 JD and I will have been together for 32 years, how's that for convenient. Our children, who are 8 and 10 now, will be well out of college and on their way to making their own lives, please Lord I hope. We would have some time together just us, we became parents at very young ages and that has shaped most of our relationship. It would be nice to get a few years to be together just the two of us.Most imp
ortantly though, I want my kids to have their father. The father figure is so important and I think it's undervalued in today's society of single mothers. JD and I have split up in the past, irreconcilable differences as it were. Well we reconciled our differences and I believe it has made us stronger than ever in our relationship. While we were apart though, he became the dad I had always wished he would be. He took our sons out and taught them about things in nature 
and the importance of the life cycle. He told them he loved them and gave them hugs and just spent good quality dad time. Because he only got them a couple of days a week he finally realized the importance of that relationship. Our boys look up to him and strive to be as cool as him 
and I would hate to have that taken away from them as they go through puberty and become young men. Also I can't imagine wrangling those two on my own, they are a handful!
What did you do to yourself?
Sometimes you have to be threatened with death to realize the implications of your actions in life. What causes a 32 year old man to have a massive coronary. Well, there's a number of risk factors.
That boils down to 3 out of 6. Dr. M told us it was a combination really. They think he may have some bad genes. That along with a whole lot of bad diet and smoking makes for a comfy stay in the ICU with a pump helping your heart out for 2 days. Smoking is bad kids, don't do it.
- smoking
- high blood pressure
- high blood cholesterol
- diabetes
- being overweight or obese
- physical inactivity
That boils down to 3 out of 6. Dr. M told us it was a combination really. They think he may have some bad genes. That along with a whole lot of bad diet and smoking makes for a comfy stay in the ICU with a pump helping your heart out for 2 days. Smoking is bad kids, don't do it.
Not your average grocery list.*
Plavix, 75mg once per day in the am to keep blood flowing smoothly through the stent
Vasotec, 2.5mg once per day in the am to control blood pressure
Tricor, 145 mg once per day in the pm to help lower cholesterol
Lopressor, 25mg twice per day in the am and pm to control heart rate and blood pressure
Zocor, 20 mg once per day in the pm to help lower cholesterol and triglycerides
Aspirin, 325 mg once per day in the am to thin blood
Low cholesterol diet
Low fat diet
Low sodium diet
Activities as tolerated per cardiac rehab
Cardiac rehab 3 times per week for 12 weeks to build back up endurance and strength
No driving for 4 weeks
* Alternate title-Ways we're attempting to keep JD alive.
Vasotec, 2.5mg once per day in the am to control blood pressure
Tricor, 145 mg once per day in the pm to help lower cholesterol
Lopressor, 25mg twice per day in the am and pm to control heart rate and blood pressure
Zocor, 20 mg once per day in the pm to help lower cholesterol and triglycerides
Aspirin, 325 mg once per day in the am to thin blood
Low cholesterol diet
Low fat diet
Low sodium diet
Activities as tolerated per cardiac rehab
Cardiac rehab 3 times per week for 12 weeks to build back up endurance and strength
No driving for 4 weeks
* Alternate title-Ways we're attempting to keep JD alive.
Warnings.
I asked him, did you have any symptoms that you can remember? The last couple weeks, were you more tired? Did your chest hurt at all? Were you ever out of breath? Did you have lots of indigestion? No, no, no he tells me.
In my warped mind I'm trying to remember, did he take more naps? Did he recently complain about his shoulders hurting (I say recently because he's a serial dislocator)? Did he complain about tummy troubles? I can't for the life of me remember anything out of the ordinary "I'm an old man, pity me" aches and pains of the normal work day. Is there anything I could have done? Why didn't I notice anything weird?
Fortunately for us, we had both scheduled a vacation starting the 17th and going through the 22nd to have some us time; just enjoy some quiet time together. Had I known where we'd get to spend this time together I'm not sure I would have scheduled it at all.
In my warped mind I'm trying to remember, did he take more naps? Did he recently complain about his shoulders hurting (I say recently because he's a serial dislocator)? Did he complain about tummy troubles? I can't for the life of me remember anything out of the ordinary "I'm an old man, pity me" aches and pains of the normal work day. Is there anything I could have done? Why didn't I notice anything weird?
Fortunately for us, we had both scheduled a vacation starting the 17th and going through the 22nd to have some us time; just enjoy some quiet time together. Had I known where we'd get to spend this time together I'm not sure I would have scheduled it at all.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
We've sprung this joint!
I called my mom right after they took him in for the angioplasty. She told me "No worries he'll be out in 25 minutes those things go so fast", oh if only. They spent two hours in the cath lab attempting to find and treat his blockage, by far the longest two hours of my life. He told me later that the female doctor (Dr. M) working on him could not find his blockage because it was at the base of the artery. She called in a colleague of hers (Dr. K) to assist, with both of them and lots of blood thinners and contrast medium they were able to clear and stent the blocked area.
Dr. K came out to speak with my mother-in-law and myself. He told us that he indeed had a massive heart attack, one he called a "widow maker" because of the location and extent (100%) of the blockage. He told me JD was a V8 working on 3 cylinders, a fitting metaphor since my husband works on cars for a living, meaning his heart was working at about 35-40% of capacity attempting to pump blood to his whole body. He told me I was very lucky that JD was so young and that he had gotten into the cath lab so quickly because they were able to diagnose and correct the blockage. He told me my husband should be dead. It's always nice to hear from a medical professional that your beloved should be dead. He then said we had a long road of recovery ahead of us. We won't know the full extent of his heart damage until 6 months out.
They put him on an aortic pump to assist his heart in pumping oxygenated blood to the rest of his body and give his muscle wall extra time to heal. To let his cells wake up and get some good blood after being deprived for so long. Upon discharge Dr. K told me he was up to about 4 cylinders with just some leaky valves which is quite a recovery in four days.
The day we left the hospital was a joyous day indeed. Discharge date was May 22nd, 2010, just four days after having a massive myocardial infarction. Two and a half of those days were in intensive care.
Dr. K came out to speak with my mother-in-law and myself. He told us that he indeed had a massive heart attack, one he called a "widow maker" because of the location and extent (100%) of the blockage. He told me JD was a V8 working on 3 cylinders, a fitting metaphor since my husband works on cars for a living, meaning his heart was working at about 35-40% of capacity attempting to pump blood to his whole body. He told me I was very lucky that JD was so young and that he had gotten into the cath lab so quickly because they were able to diagnose and correct the blockage. He told me my husband should be dead. It's always nice to hear from a medical professional that your beloved should be dead. He then said we had a long road of recovery ahead of us. We won't know the full extent of his heart damage until 6 months out.
They put him on an aortic pump to assist his heart in pumping oxygenated blood to the rest of his body and give his muscle wall extra time to heal. To let his cells wake up and get some good blood after being deprived for so long. Upon discharge Dr. K told me he was up to about 4 cylinders with just some leaky valves which is quite a recovery in four days.
The day we left the hospital was a joyous day indeed. Discharge date was May 22nd, 2010, just four days after having a massive myocardial infarction. Two and a half of those days were in intensive care.
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